In Monday’s post I confessed that I’m a planner. I love to plan!
And my love for planning also includes my children. I think every parent has plans for their child. You have certain dreams and expectations for the life of your child. If you are like me, you also have planned what schools, college, university your child would attend, what professional path she/he would eventually choose. You might even have gone so far as to pick a life partner for your child.
And you have helped along the way by enrolling them in all kinds of extracurricular activities, encouraged them to attend certain events, set them up on dates, all just to push your child in the direction of your plan.
You meant well. You only wanted the very best for your child.
But then came the day and your child approached you hesitantly to tell you he/she has chosen a different path. A different career. A different partner for their life.
Your plan for your child came crumbling down. You were shattered. You couldn’t even wrap your mind around the decision your child made. How could you have been so wrong all this time? How could you not have seen this coming?
You still think and believe you’re right. You think your child will change her/his mind. You’ll just have to give them some time.
Weeks go by, maybe even months, and you have to realize they are serious about their decision. What do you do now?
Let me tell you from my own experience:
- You have to trust your child. Even if you are still convinced they are making a mistake, it is theirs to make. You have to let go of your plan for their life. If they are happy with their decision, if they are happy with their choices, you have to get to the point where you accept their decision.
- Acknowledge to your child if you have been wrong. It will help your relationship with your child. Show your child that you accept their decision.
- Do not cut off communication with your child. Don’t set ultimatums that will only drive your child further from you.
- Pray – pray – and pray some more for your child and your parent-child relationship through this time.
- Trust God with the life of your child. God created your child. He loved your child first. He also has a plan for your child. And God’s plan for your child might actually not be the plan you had for your child. That might be hard for you to accept, but it’s reality.
- Love your child. Don’t ever stop loving her/him. If you’re not able to love your child, pray to God for supernatural love. God hears the prayers of a parent in distress. God answers prayers of a parent. I am living proof of that.