All week long I have been thinking about hope. There’s a story I have been reluctant to share. It’s my story of hope, and how hope changed my life.
It was close to 10 pm on that Tuesday night. A night in late autumn, darkness had come early. The streets were wet, reflecting the streetlights and the colors of the changing traffic lights. I was exhausted and discouraged. My body slumped in the front seat of the car underlined my feelings. Tears streamed down my cheeks, at times blurring my vision.
I was on my way to pick up my daughter from work. A daughter who made it so hard to love her, who had chosen to rebel no matter what, who showed less and less respect to her mother.
The pain was excruciating, the rejection cut deep.
“How long will I be able to carry on under this weight of sorrow?” I thought.
In my despair I started praying, out loud, words swallowed by my sobs. I was desperate for some relief, even the smallest would do. A little light in the dark tunnel.
My sobs subsided, quiet filled the car. And then I heard God speak to my heart: “I give you hope!”
“Hope? What hope? Don’t you see my situation here?” I asked.
“I give you hope!” God said again.
“Please, God, I would like something tangible, something like no more fights, no more disrespect, a visible change in my kid. Please, God.”
Then I felt God saying again: “I give you hope. Hope for today, hope for tomorrow, hope for the rest of your life. Meggie, I give you hope.”
I sat still digesting what I just heard.
I wanted change in my daughter and her behavior. God wanted to change me. For two years I had endured the stress and pain of this relationship. Now God decided to step in and give me hope.
As I sat in the car waiting for my daughter to finish her work shift, I was stunned at God’s answer to my prayer. I had not realized how I had – little by little – slipped into despair. God saw my most immediate need, and it wasn’t my daughter’s behavior. It was me. I needed hope.
A pivotal moment. It changed the outlook for my life. It gave me strength and courage to go on, not because I pulled myself up on my own. No, only because there is a source to my hope, and it’s God himself.
Today I pray the words of Apostle Paul: “I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:14
May you find your hope in God. May He fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him.